Another amazing piece. It’s like a cozy pause every time I get to read your work. It’s as if the window is open and its windy but I’m covered in blankets with a warm cup in hand.
everyday things are so nice, i feel like for two weeks out of every month i get super into theory and political analysis and then i annoy myself out of it back to writing about beans lol
I love the polarity between passivity and effort throughout this entire piece. Hanging the shelf but into drywall, only vacuuming part of the spill, leaves falling but staying stuck on the pavement, the jump scare with the spider but the acceptance of the floor becoming dirt, asking questions but being indifferent to the answers, wanting light but it can wait until Spring. The air surrounding each sentence is so so honest. Like, it’s so human to carry on halfheartedly. And then the ending is breathtaking. Hope reaching, turning to wholly face the sun.
asking questions but being indifferent to the answers is such a good way to put it. this morning i went to a cafe for coffee and returned home with half a cup of coffee which i microwaved in a mug with some coffee in the pot from two days ago. that's how i feel about it. there's this weird apathy to the correct way of doing things which i can't quite grasp, you know?
Yesss totally. I kind of love that though! We live in such a pressurized, heavy time, it’s kind of romantic to set an expectation down, let it die. Coffee can be old, cold, left out and still enjoyed and it’s like a small retaliation to the “right path” rhetoric. In June I wrote “The trick is not to look for something beautiful. Light is already light.” And then just yesterday I read a poem by Kaylee Young-Eun Jeong where she said, “I used to think the door would open onto a sunlight that would explain everything but now I know light is not clarity, light is light” and idk I’m finding this everywhere, this like letting go of any preconceived meaning. It just comes down to being here really, and living something whatever that is, and noticing, really noticing, which you do, and that is the beauty.
the photographs really bring the message home....too bad they weren't Mexican jumping beans jumping right out of the house and back where they belong, or magical beans that grow into a stalk to the sky and the giant's kingdom...
you could have trained the jumping beans to dance in some kind of synchronised chaos and then film them and watch it blow up on a wide variety of social media, the Viral Mexican Jumping Beans Jumping Over Barrels of Lima Beans...who knows, the possibilities are unlimited...pity, really they were just regular old frijoles negros...
Stunning. Moving. I was trying to think what I’m reminded of and it’s Margaret Atwood’s Surfacing, though in her novel it’s about becoming part of the outdoor wilderness. But that was my mood, reading this. The scattered beans and rice, sprouting shoots. New growth in unlikely places.
Somehow your writing manages to make me laugh, cry, and break the heart into a few million more little pieces. I’m sorry you are going through the soil, but at least you still can seriously write like a beautiful mix of Ginsberg and Dylan, with a bit of Reed for good measure. Your drawings and photos are golden. Love this!
Another amazing piece. It’s like a cozy pause every time I get to read your work. It’s as if the window is open and its windy but I’m covered in blankets with a warm cup in hand.
You reminded me that I liked reading about every day things.
everyday things are so nice, i feel like for two weeks out of every month i get super into theory and political analysis and then i annoy myself out of it back to writing about beans lol
ok go ahead make me cry
I love the polarity between passivity and effort throughout this entire piece. Hanging the shelf but into drywall, only vacuuming part of the spill, leaves falling but staying stuck on the pavement, the jump scare with the spider but the acceptance of the floor becoming dirt, asking questions but being indifferent to the answers, wanting light but it can wait until Spring. The air surrounding each sentence is so so honest. Like, it’s so human to carry on halfheartedly. And then the ending is breathtaking. Hope reaching, turning to wholly face the sun.
asking questions but being indifferent to the answers is such a good way to put it. this morning i went to a cafe for coffee and returned home with half a cup of coffee which i microwaved in a mug with some coffee in the pot from two days ago. that's how i feel about it. there's this weird apathy to the correct way of doing things which i can't quite grasp, you know?
Yesss totally. I kind of love that though! We live in such a pressurized, heavy time, it’s kind of romantic to set an expectation down, let it die. Coffee can be old, cold, left out and still enjoyed and it’s like a small retaliation to the “right path” rhetoric. In June I wrote “The trick is not to look for something beautiful. Light is already light.” And then just yesterday I read a poem by Kaylee Young-Eun Jeong where she said, “I used to think the door would open onto a sunlight that would explain everything but now I know light is not clarity, light is light” and idk I’m finding this everywhere, this like letting go of any preconceived meaning. It just comes down to being here really, and living something whatever that is, and noticing, really noticing, which you do, and that is the beauty.
this post was (is?) my introduction to your writing. visceral. inspiring. thank you
This is truly fine writing. Submitted monthly paid subscription.
what!! that’s awesome! thanks sm!!
a beaut
the writing is FLAWLESS
this is so so special. i adored it so much
thanks elle!!
Something oddly romantic about the pics. Loved this so much
probably the 00s digital camera vibe
this is one of my favorite things you’ve written
omg
I love reading your pieces, and I love going to the comment section and reading the comments too … ur my fave!
hahah thanks sm
the photographs really bring the message home....too bad they weren't Mexican jumping beans jumping right out of the house and back where they belong, or magical beans that grow into a stalk to the sky and the giant's kingdom...
too early to tell w the beanstalk
thank god they weren’t jumping around too much sheesh
you could have trained the jumping beans to dance in some kind of synchronised chaos and then film them and watch it blow up on a wide variety of social media, the Viral Mexican Jumping Beans Jumping Over Barrels of Lima Beans...who knows, the possibilities are unlimited...pity, really they were just regular old frijoles negros...
Stunning. Moving. I was trying to think what I’m reminded of and it’s Margaret Atwood’s Surfacing, though in her novel it’s about becoming part of the outdoor wilderness. But that was my mood, reading this. The scattered beans and rice, sprouting shoots. New growth in unlikely places.
yes!! exactly. the hope of growth from unusual avenues
pls write the novel
people keep saying that haha we’ll get there one day, i have some ideas but i’m not at the level to pull them off yet imo
Somehow your writing manages to make me laugh, cry, and break the heart into a few million more little pieces. I’m sorry you are going through the soil, but at least you still can seriously write like a beautiful mix of Ginsberg and Dylan, with a bit of Reed for good measure. Your drawings and photos are golden. Love this!